ahh, fall

so today was the first day in about 3 weeks that i didn't need a coat to get to work. 70, windy, nice. but now its dark. and that sucks.

the tired has set in. i had an afternoon of fittings, and a morning of fittings tomorrow, and i'm tired and all i can think about is sleep and i know andy wants to be romantic but i'm just tired. and i'm usually nauseous by bedtime. so, sorry babe. maybe next month.

bleh.

how do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her! (ok, just bad...)

So this weekend was rough. Spent Saturday and Sunday an emotional baskecase, ranging from super righteously pissed off to crying and weeping when i thought about anything involving family. jesus. and then, this morning I had the first REAL round of morning sickness...more than just rolly stomach but full out nausea thinking please god just let this end! Got a ginger ale and some funyons and was fine...surprisingly.

New and improved?

blood update: first round of tests came back with low numbers...retesting all week. ouch. low numbers are a common sign of early miscarriage.

C offered me a raise this summer and better job, but unsure if i can take it, as IF baby comes it will be sometime in June. Kind of sucks for C and me. Oh well.

Again, waiting for test results. Today is A's birthday. I forgot this morning. I'm such a bad wife.

oh jesus

as if there weren't enough pressure to land this job, i found out my insurance kicks off if i'm not renewed (unlike the scenario painted by certain former students). I can keep minimal coverage for another $400-$800 a month, but come May 15 I'm off. Please god, let me get this job. I can't afford not to.

an ti ci pation

Waiting is the hardest part. Seems to be all I'm doing lately. Right now? Waiting for 8:30 so I can call the Dr.'s office for directions. Why? So I can take a blood test to confirm what 4 previous 3 minute waits have told me. But the Dr. saying it makes it real. If it is true, I'm not giving it up. But it also means all my careful plans will now have an 8 lb. wrench in them. So its waiting. with the patience of a statue.

things i haven't gotten done today

For a monday and recovering from mystery illness (smoking too much), I've gotten quite a bit done.

Got up tremendously early. Taught a rendering workshop, caught up on email, harassed bank about money, went to dress rehearsal to see my dress, crashed out a belt and a shrug-y thing.

What I didn't get done:
grading of last project and recent homework
finish said dress
research for next project

had a bit of a snarl in lab today, too. i forget that my students are twenty something know-it-alls who are just like i was at that age. but damnit, i get tired of defending where i'm from against a bunch of spoiled brats who have never been there. just stop! thats how rumors get started.

and, i must say, i'm a little miffed at a friend. she has a tendency to "forget" about people who are not in town, and I feel that happening to me. and i'm jealous. i want my friend back, but i feel like we're spinning apart.

its friday

its friday in all the usual ways. meetings, meetings, and shop hours. 2 hours until happy hour. then my friend tanqueray and i will get a little better reacquainted.

to get done this weekend:
grading/notes for first projects
vacuum
dishes
bread
laundry
mow lawn
feel better about self